M3 Math Majors Matter ----------------------------------


Cartoon Corner

A Farside Favorite (click picture to see)

Arrest at Kennedy International

At New York Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed," Gonzales said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
   (currently making the e-mail rounds ... thanks to Steve Billups ... for passing it on)

A Contribution to the Mathematical Theory
of Big Game Hunting

by H. Pétard
A classic paper published in 1938 in the Monthly.
      (read it here)
The Unfortunate Topologist
A burleycue dancer, a pip
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
    But she read science fiction
    And died of constriction
Attempting a Moebius strip.
          - Cyril Kornbluth
The mathematicians...
... are a sort of Frenchmen: when you talk to them, they immediately translate it into their own language, and right away it is something entirely different. - Goethe
Another corner ... another cartoon

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